He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.
-Raymond Hull

The process of recovery is also one of self-discovery. One common trait among those with addiction problems is the tendency to make self-compromises with other people in an ultimate effort to be accepted and even loved. This is often an automatic way of attempting to avoid the discomfort of rejection and non-acceptance. Many prone to addiction have also developed the abilities of the social chameleon, changing our emotional skin to fit within any group. Often this technique is also applied to romantic relationships and in an honest effort to be accepted by those we are attached to we lose the ability to keep our identities truly intact for fear of rejection and loss of love. Often, and without consciously meaning to, the decision to honor our true selves or risk rejection will often be sacrificed for the avoidance of rejection. This leads to feelings of worthlessness and ineffectualness. In recovery, it is most important to begin to discover our own identity, letting it lead us through life and love, asserting ourselves appropriately whenever necessary. Only through the process of learning to treat ourselves with value do we learn what it is like to feel valuable. This completely changes the way we relate to ourselves and to the world in which we live. As we can successfully navigate through life with our identities, our Selves, intact, we truly earn the right to feel worthy and there is less need to escape from feelings of worthlessness through addictions.

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