If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am for myself only, then what am I? And if not now, when? -Rabbi Hillel
In many ways, the path to recovery is a path toward better self-care. Our addictions, themselves, were an unconscious and misguided attempt to take care of aspects of our psyches that were crying out in pain. In our recovery, we must answer this call. We must learn to “be for ourselves” as today’s quotation points out. But we can’t do this in solitude. Proper self-care must include community and the connection that healthy community provides. So we must learn to navigate safely within the context of relationships. But because it is through relationship that we are naturally introduced to the parts of ourselves that have needed protection, this can be difficult. This means that we must learn about the way we relate to others. It means we must learn to set appropriate boundaries and face inside ourselves, whatever discomfort is necessary to set these boundaries. In other words, we must make connection to others safe and healthy. But once this is accomplished, the need to seek an alternative sense of connection through our addictive pursuits will become unnecessary. And when should we embark upon this endeavor? Now, of course.