He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.
-Raymond Hull

The process of recovery is necessarily one of self-discovery. Many prone to addiction have developed the abilities of the social chameleon—changing our emotional skin in an unconscious attempt to avoid rejection or non-acceptance. This pattern is also applied to romantic relationships, and in an effort to be unconditionally accepted by those to whom we are attached, we often lose the ability to keep our personal identities intact. Over time, this usually leads to feelings of worthlessness and weakness. In recovery, it is important to begin to discover our own identity, letting it lead us through life and love, asserting ourselves appropriately whenever necessary. Only through the process of learning to treat ourselves with value do we learn what it is like to feel valuable. This will completely change the way we relate to ourselves and to the world in which we live. As we can successfully navigate life with our identities, our Selves, intact, we truly earn the right to feelings of worthiness and there is less need to escape through our addictions.

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